When I coined the term Soul-FULL in 2020, humanity was in the middle of a very hard year. The COVID-19 pandemic had just started creating chaos in North America and almost everyone I knew was feeling lonely, stressed, and uncertain of what the future would hold.
Personally, I was stuck at home with a two-year-old and a four-year-old, both still very dependent on me to meet their basic needs. Forced into isolation, the small “village” I had curated that would normally help me find pockets of fulfilment was now unavailable.
We were very lucky that Kyle, my husband, was still working full-time, but in some ways that made me feel even more lonely. I quickly found that my own self-care, creative expression, and basic bucket-filling were falling by the wayside.
On my roughest days, I felt distraught, disconnected, hopeless, and grief-stricken. My exhausted soul turned fearful and became overrun with stories like: “True happiness will never be yours. You are just not worthy of the bliss you dream of; it does not exist on this planet. You do not have the support to make those big dreams on your heart a reality.”
On my good days, my self-aware soul recognized the silver lining of a slower, more relaxed pace to life. I embraced the opportunity to really look at and assess what I was creating and offering to my girls, my husband, my friends, family, clients, and community.
I had been working on a book about worthiness off and on for almost two years when the pandemic hit, and the original incarnation of the book was going to focus on exercises and insights to help heal ancestral and familial patterns of lack, allowing you to work with your angels to manifest more financial flow and abundance.
What began to emerge as I navigated my time in lockdown after lockdown was that worthiness is not just about blessings, money, and financial flow – it is much more about gratitude, authentic connection, contribution, and presence.
The angels explained to me through meditation, journaling, and reflection that you can have all the money, love, success and admiration in the world, but if you do not know how to be present and grounded, tuned into the good things all around you (no matter what is going on in the world), and really internalizing that appreciation, you will never feel fulfilled.
If you are not connected to the Divine radiance within you, none of that abundance or material wealth will help you feel satisfied.
As I pondered this idea at a time where it felt difficult to be grounded and grateful (“I just want this lockdown to end!”, “When can we just get back to ‘normal’?”, “I am soooo tired of talking about COVID!” were all common thoughts), my angels gave me the term “Soul-FULL”.
They told me to focus on the little daily blessings, to let go of the pressure I was putting on myself, and to simply do my best to find moments of joy that made my soul feel full. They also guided me to tweak my book, and my messaging, and my coaching to inspire other spiritual mamas to feel their souls radiating with contentment, joy, and fulfilment in the now.
They guided me to build on what I had been known for in the past – shouting out “ABUNDANCE!” any time something great happened to myself or someone I knew – and to take that celebration to the next level. Instead of just celebrating a dime I found on the street (Thank you, angels!), living a Soul-FULL life was about a deeper experience of the day-to-day – a presence and appreciation that comes when you are connected to the Divine, open to all that is unfolding but not stuck on the “how” or the “when”.
Your soul is content to act on inspiration, but doesn’t need to know where your squiggly line is headed.
Letting go of the details and urgency, you become more open to abundance in all its forms.
And abundance does have many forms.
Contrary to what mainstream media often portrays, living an abundant, rich life is partly about material possessions and wealth, but there are plenty of people who have big bank accounts and empty hearts, and many others who struggle to pay the bills but have hearts of gold and smiles on their faces. What is more important than manifesting money is discovering what contentment looks like to you, then pursuing those interests with an open, curious attitude.
In 2019, I attended Tony Robbins’s “Power of Success” event, where he shared a story of his billionaire friend Steve Wynn: Wynn had purchased a painting from the artist Rothko that he insisted Tony come and see. Wynn was so excited to show Tony this painting and, when Tony saw it, he could not believe that his friend had spent $86.9 million on it. As Tony told us at the event, “It was a red square, and I told Steve as much.”
Steve did not care. He was thrilled to have this painting and it brought him joy every time he looked at it. He knew the story behind each brush stroke and saw something in it that Tony – and most of us at the event – didn’t see.
Using this story as an analogy, Tony asked us all, “What is your red painting? What excites you so much that you can’t wait to tell your friends all about it?”
You are unique and are gifted with one-of-a-kind interests, passions, and beliefs.
You were born with innate desires, preferences and wishes, along with your own individual talents and abilities.
True fulfilment for you is likely going to look very different than it does for me.
A great example of this is my dream to someday stand on stage like Tony Robbins and speak to thousands of people. When I think of it, I get excited, eager, motivated, and filled with hope. For many of you, that probably sounds like a nightmare!
So what is your red painting?
I want you to take a moment and really think through the times in your life where you have been happiest and most content.
This is often difficult for mamas who feel like they have lost themselves in motherhood. If that is the case for you, I share many journal prompts, meditations, and more in my latest book, “You Are Enough: Activate Your Angels & Live a Soul-FULL Life“.
Or check out this link to a free meditation to help you get started deepening your intuition so you can find your way toward a more Soul-FULL life.
Wishing you clarity and lots of little, beautiful moments of joy.