In this week’s nudge, I am referencing my book Opening Up, chapter 17, page 76 and teaching you an easy way to build better boundaries.
As an achiever and leader, you are likely very generous with your nurturing energy.
Healing others lights you up, and it feels so good to inspire and uplift!
Yet if you do not set boundaries, you will not have the energy to care for yourself, love your physical body, and make sure that you stay centred, strong, and confident.
The importance of learning to say “no” cannot be understated.
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Saying “no” and having discernment about what lights you up and what doesn’t gives you the time to focus on growing, evolving, and becoming a more radiant version of yourself.
Think about it – when you do not have the time to take care of yourself, how magical do you feel?
As I write in Opening Up, “No one makes good decisions when they are exhausted and I don’t know about you, but I am an extremely grumpy person when I am tired and feeling overwhelmed … I consider it ‘doing the world a favour’ when I take care of myself.”
So let’s do the world a favour and lift up your energy this week!
An Easy Way to Say No
Building basic boundaries starts with learning to say “no”.
As you prioritize your time and commitments, your intuition will heighten and you will be better able to serve all those you love and those that are drawn to your light.
Saying “no” is difficult, especially if you are a people-pleaser and empath.
You might worry about hurting people’s feelings or leaving them “high and dry”.
This might leave you feeling frustrated, stressed, or anxious – all not-so-high vibrations for your physical body and mind.
Try instead to think of your refusal as an important step in them finding someone even more suited to their ask.
The next time you want to say no to an invitation, try this soft response: “Thank you for thinking of me! While I am unable to accept/attend, I wish you all the best!”
How does that feel?
Easier, I hope.
This week’s nudge comes as our world begins to navigate into a post-pandemic “new normal”.
One thing that COVID did bring was the opportunity for better boundaries.
With social distancing came a built-in excuse to say “no” – a “culture of can’t”, as I’ve been calling it.
Now, as we return to some form of social interaction, those skills will be needed again and it is important you do not feel guilty as you put your own priorities first.
You are growing, deepening your intuition, learning to trust yourself and love yourself more each day and you need that time to honour that sacred work.
I like to think of my daughters and all the people I am meant to help and coach and heal.
Doing so allows me to feel lighter about declining invitations that don’t feed my soul.
Remember: what is meant for you, will always be meant for you.
No one can take that away.
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As I head “back to work” after the craziest past few years, I am eager to inspire and help, but not so eager that I will say “yes” to anything and everything that comes my way.
Part of growing as a healer and spiritual leader comes from discernment.
Deciding who you want to help and how you want to help them, then committing to that choice and not wavering.
I went into more detail about discernment and how you can gain even more clarity around your boundaries this week in my Soul-FULL Sisterhood Facebook Group, so be sure to join this free group and visit the “videos” section for that!
In the meantime, let me know in the comments below what your biggest struggles are with boundaries.
Where have you struggled to say “no”?
When has saying “yes” depleted my energy?
When has saying “no” led me to something great?
What are my top priorities right now?
From this place of clarity, you can make better decisions and build better boundaries easily.
Sending you lots of courage as you say no to what is not meant for you this week,
P.S. If you are looking for more ways to build better boundaries, my book, Boundaries and Bucket-Filling, is full of them!